Why Your Mind Won’t Switch Off at Night — and What Actually Helps

There was a time when night felt like a second workday for me.

The lights were off, my body was exhausted, but my mind was wide awake — replaying conversations, rechecking decisions, rewriting moments that had already passed. I told myself I was “processing”, that I just needed more clarity.

What I didn’t understand yet was this:

my body wasn’t asking for insight.

It was asking for safety.

I share this not as a medical professional, but as a life and business coach who has lived through burnout — and had to relearn how to listen to my body after years of overriding it.

Night-time Overthinking Isn’t a Thinking Problem

When clients describe lying awake replaying conversations, they often assume something is wrong with their mindset.

In my experience, this pattern has far less to do with intelligence or emotional maturity, and far more to do with the nervous system.

At night, when distractions drop away, whatever hasn’t been resolved in the body tends to surface. If your system learnt at some point that connection, performance, or approval required vigilance, it doesn’t automatically stand down just because the day is over.

So the mind loops.

The body stays alert.

And rest feels strangely unsafe.

This isn’t weakness. It’s conditioning.

And it’s also changeable.

What I Learnt During Burnout

Burnout forced me to confront a hard truth: I was trying to think my way out of a physiological state.

I had insight.

I had language.

I had strategies.

What I didn’t have was regulation.

Recovery didn’t begin when I found the “right” explanation. It began when I stopped asking my body to push through signals it was sending clearly — especially at night.

That’s when I started working with my nervous system instead of against it.

Below are two simple practices I still use and often share with clients. They’re not cures, and they’re not medical interventions. They’re ways of communicating safety to a system that has learnt to stay on high alert.

Technique 1: Complete the Loop With Your Breath

When overthinking shows up at night, it’s often because the nervous system is waiting for closure.

One of the simplest ways to signal completion is through the breath — specifically, by lengthening the exhale.

Try this:

Inhale through your nose for a count of 4

Pause gently for 2

Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6

At the end of the exhale, silently say: “Nothing else is required right now.”

Repeat this for five to seven rounds.

This isn’t about forcing calm or stopping thoughts. It’s about telling your body that the moment has ended — and it can stand down.

Technique 2: Orient to Safety Instead of Analysing

Overthinking thrives on internal scanning. One of the fastest ways to interrupt that loop is to bring attention outward.

This technique works best with your eyes open.

Try this:

Slowly look around the room you’re in

Notice three neutral or pleasant details — light, texture, shape, colour

Let your gaze rest on each for five to ten seconds

No labelling emotions. No problem-solving. Just noticing.

This gives your nervous system real-time evidence that you’re here, now, and not under threat — something thinking alone can’t provide.

A Different Way to Think About Rest

If you struggle to sleep because your mind won’t let go, the solution may not be better self-talk or more insight.

It may be learning how to create safety internally — especially if your body learnt long ago that rest came second to performance, responsibility, or vigilance.

You don’t need to power down your mind.

You need to teach your system that it’s allowed to rest.

That shift changed everything for me — not just how I sleep, but how I lead, work, and relate.

And it’s work I continue to practise, not perfect.

Sending you love, Jen x