I Used to Say Yes to Everything. Here's What It Actually Cost Me.
For years, my answer to almost everything was yes. Yes to the extra client. Yes to the favour. Yes to the project that wasn't really mine to carry. Yes to the version of me that other people needed, usually at the expense of the version that needed looking after.
I want to be clear about something, because I think it gets misunderstood. I wasn't stuck. I wasn't waiting around for permission to live my life. I've always been the opposite, an action taker through and through. The problem was never that I didn't move. The problem was I moved in every direction at once and called it commitment.
It caught up with me. I ended up hospitalised with burnout, the kind that doesn't ask politely. It just shows up and takes the decision out of your hands. An autoimmune diagnosis came and then I was forced to pause for the first time in my life.
Rebuilding from there taught me something I now hand straight to coaching clients. Saying yes to everything isn't generosity. It's often just an unexamined habit dressed up as one.
These days I ask a different question before I commit to anything. Not "can I do this." Almost anyone can do almost anything if they push hard enough. The real question is "should this be mine to carry." Most weeks, the honest answer to a few things is no. And every no I give now is a yes to something, or someone, that actually needs me.
If any part of this sounds familiar, the place to start is usually smaller than you'd expect.
Inspired by: my own recovery from burnout, still the most honest credential I have.
Jen x
If this is landing, this is exactly the kind of thing we dig into in 1:1 coaching. Info here
